She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
