i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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