Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
