She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
