sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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