When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
