Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize