summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
