Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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