WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
