Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
