Someone shit on the floor
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
