You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
