Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
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