should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
