My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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