i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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