I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
