I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
