my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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