I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There r osticjed everywhere
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
