It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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