i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We need to get me chipped asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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