she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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