I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
