do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
