I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
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I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
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If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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