This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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