she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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