Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
