The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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