Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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