So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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