you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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