i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do vagina's smell?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
