grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
