at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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