I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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