I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
