No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
