He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
