I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
don't judge my taste in strippers
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
