u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
