Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize