Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
