Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
