i barfeds in our rink
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
