all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
