yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
