when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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