nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
