Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I got her a Nickelback box set.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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