Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
