Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
