well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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