dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
