Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
