margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
