you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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