what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize