these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
