how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
